Dec 13

Brand Name Disaster Relief

The lives of Haitians are threadbare and there is little in the way of relief funds. How is this possible? When international donations totaling more than $10 billion were donated to Haiti in the aftermath of the earthquake . The Hope for Haitidisparity in the suffering of the Haitian people and the astronomical amount of money donated towards relief efforts is mind boggling. This leads me to ask the question is it better to donate to small or large charities? This is because most of the donations were made to large charities such as the Red Cross. The Red Cross collected $25 million in donations, and only $106 million made it to the Haitian relief fund.

This is not to say that the Red Cross was not effective in assisting the Haitians after the earthquake. However, in large organizations like this the dispersing of aid becomes tied up in red tape, and decisions are made in offices where no one is in direct contact with the real issues on the ground. The bulk of donations go toward running the organizations and paying for overhead costs. All these activities lead to a depletion of funds and resources that is diverted from individuals in need.

The primary reason these organizations receive the bulk of donations in the aftermath of natural disasters is due to image 2brand recognition. After natural disasters we quickly gravitate towards the organizations with a brand we trust to get aid to the people in need. Yet, despite the Red Cross supposed expertise and millions in donations, two years later there is half a million Haitians still living in tents and thousands dying from cholera. It leaves donors angry and disillusioned when million of dollars in disaster aid is misappropriated and disaster victims are left holding the bag.

As donors we need to address this troubling issue. We need to ask ourselves are we being responsible donating to brands as opposed to small charities working directly with those in need?

How can we be responsible donors?

When money is blindly thrown at brand name charities, more harm than good is done. Too often the money raised fails to reach the victims in need and may instead go towards head office salaries and charities upkeep. I understand the need to alleviate suffering after any disaster, especially after seeing images of people suffering. Our knee jerk reaction is to quickly donate money to brand name charities that we trust to be effective. But isn’t it better to seek out the small aid organizations on the ground that have a history of direct involvement with the type of victims or population? Organizations such as Helping Haitians Angels, , H.O.P.E.H, , and Healing Hands for Haiti, are U.S./ Haitian charity organizations which have been helping Haitians long before the earthquake. These organizations are still in Haiti and they can use assistance in supporting the communities they have always worked with. This will enable donors to directly and quickly help those in need.

Don’t just donate blindly to any organization on the ground. It is our responsibility to research the organization and make ourselves aware of their mission. Check their history; see who has been helped, and what their overall track record is. This will let you know how your money is being spent, and who is being helped.

After donating it is our responsibility to follow up on what the charity organizations have been doing and the current state of the victim. Donate with thoughtfulness and responsibility to ensure the people in need receive help. Don’t be in a haste to line the pockets of brand name organizations with our compassion.

 

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Dec 12

The Food Stamp Challenge: Effective?

As the year comes to end and holidays are extremely close, social issues such as homelessness, poverty, and hunger are frequently mentioned. Recently in New Jersey, the Mayor of Newark, Cory Booker decided to participate in his own food stamp challenge called the SNAP challenge. The mayor will only spent about $1.40 per meal, which is about $4.20 for each entire day. The mayor started the challenge from December 4th and it will end on December 11th. However, is this efficient advocacy? Will this even make an impact? Politicians are similar to celebrities. They have the power to use their fame and power to help shed some limelight to a cause. In New Jersey alone, I know Cory Booker is a personal favorite especially for young adults. He has a very good social media presence and many of my friends follow him on twitter or instagram. Is social media enough to show the plight of millions of families living off food stamps? I do not think so.

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Almost 42.2 million Americans are part of the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program food stamp program, and this number rose fifteen percent from the start of the economic recession in 2007. The full amount of food stamps is not enough to feed families till the end of the month. Every food stamp only accounts for $1.00 to $1.20 per for each person in the household per day.  For example, if there are four people living in one household, the maximum amount the family can receive is about $14.40 every day in food stamps. This amount varies depending on what state you live in. With increasing food prices and growing families, it is difficult to put dinner on the table everyday. In these situations, healthy eating is not even an option because it is simply too expensive.

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Mayor Cory Booker is not the first politician or celebrity that has done the food stamp challenge. In fact, celebrity chef Mario Batali, the mayor of Phoenix, and even a group of students at the University of Bridgeport have participated in this challenge. Is it really effective? It is impossible to spread long lasting awareness about a tough issue in one week. This issue will only garner publicity for one week because the mayor of Newark is participating in this challenge. After this challenge is over, the general public and media may forget about this issue as the mayor returns to his normal life. Continue reading

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Dec 10

Community Empowerment in Haiti

A great sense of empowerment is needed for the people of Haiti, who remain in a housing crisis two years after the earthquake. The empowerment of people in need is paramount to creating change. The best Aid workers are sometimes individuals who have lived in the communities needing help and are invested in their communities. This is not to say that outside aid is not welcome. The donations, fundings, and  resources  brought in by outside Aid workers is an absolute necessity for rebuilding Haiti.  However, outside aid workers  have no personal investment in the communities and leave after they think a change has been made. They are not invested in the sustaining and  longevity of the changes they implement.

It is sad and troubling that the Haitian people are still living in chaos two years  after  the earthquake, despite a huge number of outside aid workers and millions in aid. Is it not better to get Haitians involved as aid workers, and the community members actively involved in their solving their problems? Haitian aid workers and community members working within their own communities would be an effective strategy, to quell the housing crisis in Haiti.

Hundreds of thousands of Haitian people remain in wretched tent camps. By empowering the Haitians to rebuild themselves, through construction assistance, the housing problem could be tackled systematically. Aid organizations should hire Haitian construction workers to aid in the rebuilding process. These  organizations should also  hire and train other Haitians who are interested in learning. Haitian  construction workers that have the most skills in housing and building development  can supervise  the less skilled workers. This can be a means to on the job training.  The integration of  construction skills can only solidify the rebuilding project.  Haitian electricians, plumbers, roofers, and mason etc. can all  be recruited as a means of speeding along the rebuilding process.

The aid  organizations that have gone into Haiti speak about the rebuilding of the Haitian society. But how will this be possible if they are the bringing in the workers, reaping all the praise, and later leaving. Aid organizations should  hire more Haitian workers instead of bringing in more aid workers to Haiti. The hiring and training of Haitians is a sure way to  revitalize their  economy. The creation of a wide variety of jobs and training of  skilled Haitians provides sustainability for the economy. These are skills the Haitian people can continue to use, and promote growth in their society. Rather than handing out aid and leaving , train the people, improve their skills, create jobs.

The anthem of the  aid organizations is to rebuild  Haiti. Don’t just speak about it. In order to create change in the society of the Haitian people, give them a  sense of control in the rebuilding of their country.

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Dec 04

Who Wins in Religious Identity and Parenting?

A person can be half-French and half-Italian, and simultaneously a citizen of two countries. Yet, it is awfully complicated to be half- Christian and half-Jewish when it comes to religion. A distinction has to be made; one is either a Christian or a Jew. It is difficult to partially identify with such distinct religious identities. When parents with distinctive religious identities, such as Christianity and Judaism have a child; conflicts can arise. Conflict occurs due to the historical differences in both religions; different beliefs, rituals and values. The way in which each parent identifies with their religion, and the most important aspect that “each parent wants the child to identity  with them.”
The relationship between people who are of different faiths may be perfectly “fine” before a child arrives. They may not have contemplated religion being an issue. However, the birth of a child changes that perspective. Each parent’s historical and cultural identification with their religion often begins to rear its head. It is not just the “religion ” itself that is the conflict. It is the parents need to have the child relate to their religion, as it becomes a symbol of identification, from either parent. With both parents being insistent on their religious identification, they can become extreme on the issue. This may cause future conflict with the child. He or she may learn not to be tolerant with various religions due to the extreme experience within their own family.

Rituals such as baptisms and circumcisions, or holidays such as Christmas, Hanukkah, and Easter can create unexpected conflicts in otherwise happy households. Which holiday should the child recognize, celebrate or accept? The holidays can become a time of dread for a child caught in the middle of parents; determined to instill the “right” religious practice.

How do we get pass the conflicts?
First and foremost we need to get past ourselves. Yes, it is great to see our child choose our particular faith. But in order to accomplish this, is one willing to alienate the other parent and possibly destroy the family? I would hope not! Instead why not focus on the values and teachings of the religion. In Christianity and Judaism for example, the common message in both religions is kindness, love and respect for all. Parents can avoid conflict by teaching their child the values and peace ethics of both religions. This will allow the child to accept both religions in some context.
The issue of the holidays can be easily solved by intermingling the faiths. Why not celebrate all the holidays. I have yet to meet a child who does not love the gifts that comes with major holiday celebrations. Children in a household with distinctive religious holidays will experience and learn twice the joys of giving and receiving.

The most important takeaway in households with parents having distinctive religious identities is the opportunity to teach tolerance and respect for others. This is their opportunity to educate and show their children that people with distinctive differences can coexist, without conflict. Parents can ingrain in their children from a tender age the lesson of learning about other faiths, culture, and practices, and not denying someone based on the ignorance of not knowing. Children who are taught these life lessons can go on to become socially responsible human beings. They are less likely to engage in discrimination, and stereotypical prejudices and intolerance of others.
The path parents take in these situations is central to their child’s development as a socially responsible human being. It is less important to spend time focused on denying, one faith over another. Therefore, parents have to decide which role they wish to play in these circumstances. Do they remain focused on “themselves” and what they want, or do they use this as an opportunity to shape their children’s perception of difference and tolerance of diversity, a much needed social skill in our society today.

 

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Dec 03

The Modern Day Feminist: My Take on Slutwalks

It’s often said that all it takes is a few words to spark a movement. A word, a phrase – sometimes they’re all that are needed to unite people, force them to take a stand, and change the course of history. On January 24th, 2011, a Toronto police officer from York University did just that when he made the flippant comment that “women should avoid dressing like sluts in order not to be victimized”. Cue the Slutwalk. 

Those were the words that sparked a movement – the Slutwalk movement, which has exploded in popularity in the last two years. Cities all across the United States, Canada, and abroad are grabbing hold of the idea, and starting Slutwalks of their own. Some have gone so far to call it the most successful feminist movement in the last 20 years.

Founders Sonya Barnett and Heather Jarvis organized the first Slutwalk in Toronto back in April 2011, shortly following the police officer’s comments earlier that year. In the words of co-founder, Heather Jarvis, “We had just had enough… it isn’t about just one idea or one police officer who practices victim blaming, it’s about changing the system and doing something constructive with anger and frustration.” Jarvis hoped that at least 100 people would show up at the first rally. She never expected a crowd of over 3,000.

I’m going to be honest – my first impressions of Slutwalks were not all that positive. Slutwalks? Really? How could such a condescending name be connected to such a good cause? How is it actually promoting feminist ideals?

In the words of the founders,

Being assaulted isn’t about what you wear; it’s not even about sex; but using a pejorative term to rationalize inexcusable behaviour creates an environment in which it’s okay to blame the victim. Historically, the term ‘slut’ has carried a predominantly negative connotation. Aimed at those who are sexually promiscuous, be it for work or pleasure, it has primarily been women who have suffered under the burden of this label. And whether dished out as a serious indictment of one’s character or merely as a flippant insult, the intent behind the word is always to wound, so we’re taking it back. “Slut” is being re-appropriated.  – Slutwalk Toronto

It’s about changing mainstream ideas regarding rape and rape culture. It’s about taking back the word. It’s about ending the “what was she wearing?” comments. That she was “she was asking for it”. It was about giving women a platform to fight back, and correct the historical misconceptions. It was about putting the blame back where it rightfully belongs – on the perpetrators themselves. To drive home the point, many Slutwalk participants come wearing only scantily-clad clothing, as a way of nonverbally stating that nothing – your clothing, makeup, or behavior – should be justification for sexual assault.

I’m not going to lie – the name still does leave me with an uneasy feeling. However, I’m starting to think that that’s the point. It’s not supposed to be a comfortable fit. It’s supposed to be something that you have to struggle to come to terms with – it’s all part of redefining the word. It’s the only way to change deeply ingrained cultural beliefs. It’s not supposed to be easy. It got me thinking of one of my favorite quotes, written by a woman named Rosie Hardy: “The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.”

I think that the same applies to our society – the mere idea of Slutwalks themselves are meant to propel us into discomfort. They’re meant to give us new perspectives, and force us to think about rape in a different light. That’s the point. Cultural misconceptions regarding rape and women’s clothing have prevailed for too long. It’s time to change the conversation.

One Slutwalk at a time.

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Nov 30

SNAP and Hunger Relief

The Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP); relieving hunger

Not many countries or people around the world associate hunger with people within the United States. But in reality it is a silent epidemic. The face of “hunger” is commonly associated with the homeless or people experiencing severe hardship in third world countries, caused by various economic, social or natural disasters. It has been determined that 46 million Americans, which include 16 million children, live in households that can’t afford enough food. This means one in six Americans and one in five American children live in homes that live at the brink of hunger. Most of these families are not homeless; they live in urban and rural areas, and most hungry families are white. The majority of hungry Americans are low wage workers, children, people with disabilities and senior citizens. Contrary to belief the main problem causing this issue is not laziness. Families experiencing hunger hardship in most instances have; one adult working full-time or part-time or actively looking for work, or the household is headed by an adult with a disability.

SNAP is just one of the many programs in theUnited Statesthat works to get food assistance to those who need it most. The New York Coalition against Hunger reported that  SNAP supplies 15 times more food than any  food bank,or soup kitchen. SNAP is a means of averting hunger in families experiencing extreme distress. It helps families to lessen the severity of poverty by putting food on their tables.

Can you imagine working hard each month and after paying for utilities; being unable to buy food? I am sure most of us can empathize.  As a mother the thought of not being able to feed your children is terrifying. SNAP assistance  is a program that makes the problem of hunger one less overwhelming burden. The fear of hunger becomes one less stressor in these tough economic times.

SNAP allows families to take care of their utilities and know that there is money left for food. They are assured that if they were to fall sick or lose their jobs, they would still be able to put food on their table. Their children do not have to go to school hungry, or worry about meals being unavailable at home. It does not put a limit on the types of food they can purchase. They are able to shop at a wide variety of grocery stores and farmers markets.

Many American Families relied on SNAP to provide a Thanksgiving meal for their families this season, and I am sure it will provide a Christmas meal for them also. These families are able to focus on other issues, without fear of hunger.

SNAP participation is a sure way to get food to Americans in need. Information on  program should be made available through food banks, soup kitchens and emergency food centers, which serve a large portion of the population affected by hunger. The fact that hunger is an epidemic speaks volumes; more information needs to be given to the public so all those in need can be helped.

SNAP and other food assistance programs fill a significant void in the lives of many individuals. These are extremely harsh economic times and such programs are a necessity. One of the ways to reduce hunger in the United States is to increase information and participation in the federal assistance programs available; SNAP, the National School Lunch Program, The National School Breakfast Program, The National Summer Food Service Program, The Women, Infants, and Children (WIC) Program are all associations which work to get food assistance to individuals who need it.
If you are in need of help this holiday season here is a link with more information on accessing food assistance.

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Nov 28

Surprising Effects of Marijuana Legalization

The election is finally over. And I must say I feel a little forlorn now that all the excitement has begun dying down. But luckily there were some pretty important things that happened to keep me occupied. Unfortunately, I can’t talk about everything that came out of the election (as much as I wish I could). So what I really want to talk about is the votes in Colorado and Washington that legalized marijuana. I’m sure you’re expecting me to continue this article with my opinion on marijuana usage. Or the social ramifications. But that’s not what I’m going to do. Instead, I wantto focus on what this means for those states’ prison populations and what it could mean for our future.Just so you know the specifics: Colorado amended its state constitution to legalize recreational use of marijuana. And Washington voted YES on an initiative to do the same thing.These are the first two states to fully legalize the use of recreational marijuana, not just medical. Many other states have legalized the use of medical marijuana or decriminalized recreational use. But these are the first two to fully legalize it. But there are restrictions to this of course: you must be an adult to use marijuana, you can only buy small amounts, and it is still banned at the federal level. But don’t let these restrictions make you think this will minimize the impact legalization will have on people.

This is HUGE for prisoners and other people within the prison complex because a majority of them are there due to drug related offenses. As I’ve discussed before, America’s War on Drugs has led to a massive increase in the prison population in the last 15 years. So legalizing any drugs, even just marijuana, will dramatically decrease the amount of people we send to prison. Obviously, it will take time to implement these new initiatives. And it will take even longer to work out how they will affect people with current drugs offenses. But clearly it will have an impact. For example, based on 2007 data, 42% of federal drug charges are marijuana related. So nearly HALF of federal drug efforts can now be directed toward other issues. At least within these two states. And on the state level, 28% of Washington’s overall prison system consists of drug related offences. A large portion of which are marijuana issues. Colorado has similar stats as well. So these new laws with have a dramatic impact on a lot of people’s lives.

Just to clarify, I’m not trying to say that all states should legalize marijuana. That will affect lots of things other than just the prison population. And I don’t know what the results will be. But I do think it is important to take note of the reduction in prisoners. And more importantly to study the results of this in the future. Will there be a reduction in crime? An increase? Will the prison population FINALLY start trending down instead of up? Will the police force be able to further restrict the use of more dangerous drugs? Obviously, we can’t know the answers to these questions right now. But they could grow to mean a lot in the future. If positive results come from the passage of these two initiatives, then maybe Continue reading

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Nov 26

The Toilet and It’s Effect on Women

You might be a little surprised at the title of this blog post. Women and toilets? How are these two things even related? Well, did you know that over 70% of women in Sub-Saharan Africa  do not have safe access to a toilet? This number may be even higher in other parts of the world.  In total, over 2.5 billion people around the world do not have access to adequate and safe sanitation. One out of three women in the world face shame, disease, harassment, or violence because they do not have a safe place to go to the toilet. Simple sanitation can make the lives of over 1.25 million women much easier and safer. Who would have thought that even in the twenty-first century toilets would still be a problem? It is even more shocking to know that more people in the world have cell phones than a normal standard toilet in their homes. November 19th was World Toilet Day designated by WaterAid. WaterAid is non-profit organization that is committed to bringing safe water especially for hygiene and sanitation to developing countries in Africa and Asia.

In a survey, one out of five women had faced harassment, intimidation, assault, or threats while going to the toilet in the last year outside of their homes. Women are more likely to get raped while going out at night to relieve themselves. Unfortunately, many women in these countries are very hesitant to complain or voice their opinions because it is an embarrassing topic to even discuss out in the open. I do not blame them either because I would not have the courage to talk about these issues in the open as well. Almost, 1.1 million people practice open defecation on a daily basis. Most of these people are living in rural areas and they use fields, bushes, railroad tracks, or buckets to urinate or defecate. Imagine how difficult that would be for a woman? Even thinking about it just makes me cringe. Safe and adequate sanitation is a basic human right and should be available to all.

Having no access to basic and safe sanitation can also have its repercussions on girls’ education. In fact, lack of sanitation hinders the chances of girls fully completing their education. Adolescent girls are the most affected. How? Around the age twelve, many girls start menstruating. It is extremely necessary for girls during this time to have a private space for washing, cleaning, and using the toilet.  Many schools especially in rural areas lack these required sanitary facilities. Menstruation can last from anywhere from five days to seven days. In some countries, young girls end up staying at home because there is no adequate hygienic facilities available to change and clean themselves.

Continue reading

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Nov 20

Obama Visits Myanmar

I’ve written a considerable amount about Myanmar here on Not Enough Good, so of course I was excited when I heard that President Obama was planning a trip to Southeast Asia that included a historic stop in Myanmar. This is the first time a sitting American president has visited the country, and both Bill Clinton and George W Bush not only avoided Myanmar, but blacklisted the country’s previous leaders from entering the United States. Obama also referred to the country as “Myanmar,” though the United States still officially refers to the country as “Burma” as it does not accept that legitimacy of the military regime that took over Myanmar in 1989. Obama’s visit shows just how far Myanmar has come on the international stage, and how much hope there is for the country’s future.

The goal of Obama’s visit was to encourage President Thein Sein to continue reforming the country. He spoke about the importance of freedom and a system of checks-and-balances between the government and the military. The emphasis of his trip was on freedom of speech, civilian rule, and respect for human rights, and so the government of Myanmar timed the release of dozens of political prisoners to coincide with Obama’s arrival. Obama, of course, encouraged the government to release more political prisoners, as well as to reform the national government and to keep up the dramatic rate of reform the country has followed for the past two years. He took many of his cues from Aung San Suu Kyi, particularly her warning that Myanmar could be facing complacency now that it seems that success is in sight.

Though the focus of Obama’s historic visit was human rights and democratic transition it will likely have economic ramifications for the country, even if he did not touch on economics during his speech. His visit symbolizes broader acceptance of the current path Myanmar is on, and hope that reforms will continue.  And luckily for Myanmar, more reforms mean more foreign investment and a reduction in economic sanctions against the country.  Several large Western and Japanese firms have already made plans for business operations in Myanmar: Suzuki has launched plans to build a series of motorcycle factories and Coca-Cola plans to invest $100 million in the country over the next several years, for example.  Myanmar even hosted a petroleum trade show last year, which drew in oil and gas companies from across the globe.  Myanmar does have considerable oil reserves and the potential to become one of the leading petroleum producers in the world, and since most industrial democracies have dropped their sanctions against the country in the past two years there’s a great deal of potential there.

It’s not just businesses that are looking at Myanmar as an investment opportunity, but countries as well; many have opened aid offices in the capital and allocated large new aid packages to the country.  Even the World Bank, which pushed most foreign NGOs out of Myanmar in the 60s and 70s after the country refused to pay back its loans, has showed a renewed interest in Myanmar.  Earlier this month the World Bank announced that it would be offering Myanmar a $245 million aid package.  All this foreign and business investment will hopefully help Myanmar become less dependent on China (Obama’s desire to balance against China certainly contributed to his decision to stop in Myanmar) and develop on its own terms.  We must be cautious, though: right now things certainly seem to be looking up for Myanmar, particularly economically, but only time will tell if Myanmar will be able to take advantage of these new opportunities or if it will stagnate.  President Thein Sein is certainly keen to spur economic growth; he and his advisers, a group of former exiles educated in the west, have pushed through ambitious economic reforms designed to invite foreign investment and growth, and they have received support and advice from several high profile economists.  I certainly hope that the country is able to use all the hype and excitement and optimism surrounding it to improve its struggling economy!

And now, here is a link to the video of Obama’s historic speech: Obama in Myanmar.  Watch it and let me know what you think of his talk, as well as Myanmar’s prospects.

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Nov 19

The Modern Day Feminist: Doorholding 101

To hold the door open or to not hold the door open? That is the question.
Chivalry is dead. Or at least that’s what some people say. However, is it for the better? That’s what’s up for debate.

Last week, in one of my classes, we had a heated discussion over whether or not you should hold the door open for a girl. The classes’ response was a resounding “yes”. We come from a school where everyone holds the door open for everyone else. It’s part of the culture. However, then our teacher threw in a ringer – “You know that only started so that a man could check out a woman’s backside as she walked through right?”

The only reason? I’m not so sure. However, it does speak to the larger question regarding manners and etiquette in a so-called “post-chivalrous era”. Should the woman refuse when a man pulls out the seat for her on the first date? When he proceeds to pay the entire bill? Is it rude if she does so? Or is she simply standing up for her beliefs? We’ve come to a cultural crossroads of sorts.

And honestly it’s easy to see why such a crossroads exists. On the one side, there’s blatant or hostile sexism, which includes name-calling, offensive jokes, and unwanted sexual references. Domestic violence and sexual harassment in the workplace are also examples of hostile sexism. Most people now consider hostile sexism to be inherently wrong, or at harmful to greater society.  However, there’s also “benevolent sexism”, a more subtle version of sexism, often disguised as “old fashioned chivalry” or simply “good manners”. That’s where our problem lies.

In the words of The Huffington Post, benevolent sexism is “a paternalistic attitude towards women that idealizes them affectionately… It includes well-intentioned behavior or philosophies that differentiate women as needing special consideration, having feminine skills or as being vulnerable”. It’s the mindset that women and children should always be the first people saved during a disaster. It happens when a man innocently offers to take the heavier boxes from his female companion. And it’s when a man purposely goes out of his way to open a door for a woman in his presence.

The problem with benevolent sexism lies in its perceived harmlessness. As stated in ScienceDaily, “While the path to benevolent sexism may be paved with good intentions, it reinforces the assumption that men possess greater competence than women, whom benevolent sexists view as wonderful, but weak and fragile”. Something as simple as opening the door for a woman may seem innocent, noble – maybe even romantic really. Who doesn’t want a Prince Charming to woo her, treat her like a royal Princess, and pick up her glass slipper (and dinner check) along the way? However, both benevolent sexism and hostile sexism are driven by the same idea – that  women are weak and vulnerable creatures, who are constantly in need of men’s protection. And that’s not a good thing at all.

So where does that leave us? In my opinion, the solution is simple. Just hold the door for everyone. There’s no need to run ahead of a woman, in order to assist her through the door. She is perfectly capable of opening the door herself. However, if you’re walking through a door, and somebody is right behind you, simply take the time to hand it off to the next person. More or female – it doesn’t matter. Gender should be irrelevant. It’s just basic common courtesy.

Politeness doesn’t have to go out the door (literally) just because you believe in gender equality. It’s simply about adapting old-fashioned manners to fit your newer, more gender-conscious ways.

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